pauline Hanson

Xenaphobe: Worrier Princess

In a time of Ancient Gods, Warlords, and Kings, a land in the turmoil of unemployment cried out for a hero... She was Xenaphobe. A mighty princess forged in the heat of a fish and chip shop. The power, the passion, the danger. Her courage will change the world forever.

Surrounded by enemies, barbaric tribes, slave traders, communists, dole bludgers, the unemployed, foreigners, drug addicts, Aboriginies, Asian crime gangs, non-English speakers, and refugees, Xenaphobe is on a one notion mission. Her notion. To free her people from the Asian hordes and stop Muslim foreigners crossing the borders.

Xenaphobe is set in the Golden Age of myth, long before ancient Greece or Rome, on the distant frontier of known civilization far away from democracy. The whims of capricious media gods and the greed of her political advisors, right-wing fanatics and loopy zealots make her world a treacherous one.

Xenaphobe is an intrepid worrier bent on destruction, who sets out to kill and destroy all in her quest for ultimate political power. But when a single act of compassion causes her own Neo-Nazi followers to betray her, she undergoes a radical conversion. Realizing she has lost sight of her own humble beginnings in a fish and chip shop Xenaphobe determines to make amends for the racist sins of her past.

On the road home, she defends a small peasant village from a band of slanty eyed soldiers dispatched by the ruthless Downerger Empress -- an evil cross-dressing cyborg in fishnet stockings and high heels -- from a rival political faction. There she meets a dull young man Howardofalus, who secretly follows the worrier princess in search of a more exciting life and a policy of his own. Along the way, they share many adventures together. Howardofalus becomes enthralled by Xenaphobe's amazing power over all the villagers they encounter.

Ultimately, Xenaphobe and the Downerger Empress square off in a spectacular battle and she defeats the barbaric gaylord. Though she has saved the multi-cultural village and reconciled with her aboriginal mother, she cannot erase the misery she has caused over the years.

Joined by the feisty and now, fast-talking Howardofalus, Xenaphobe leaves to search out her father and continue her battle against all foreigners who fail to assimilate. Xenaphobe's amazing skills are constantly put to the test as she travels across the land battling protesters and hecklers at political meetings. To disarm her foes, she relies on a mantra of simple sayings which she spits out at her enemies with astonishing speed.

Also in her arsenal is the "Xenaphobe touch," a two handed slap across the face with a dead fish, which she uses to extract respect from non-English speakers and disarm pesky newspaper reporters. She also has a plastic, made-in-Taiwan boomerang, which she hurls with deadly effect.

Xenaphobe's weakly adventures unfold through an exciting mix of live action, boring political speeches, the 30 second media grab and the usual round of radio talk-back shows.