Certain things in life require deep thought, sincere discernment and your utmost concentration, like deciding which house to buy, wondering which college major to choose (and then regret later in life), and, of course, pizza toppings.
One item many people don’t put enough time and thought into is what to name their fantasy baseball team. It’s a known fact that 92% of all fantasy champions have great fantasy baseball team names. If I might be so bold – it’s more important than who you should pick in the first round.
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Am I overselling this decision? Am I dumb enough to think a fantasy team name will have an impact on my championship hopes? Do people that interview themselves annoy me? The answer to all those questions is yes.
This article is meant to inspire you to fantasy baseball team name greatness. Reach for a team name that will no doubt live on forever, or at least until football season.
You won’t discover how to beat the rest of the league in this article, but you will discover how to make them remember you as someone other than the drunk guy who threw up at their kid’s kindergarten graduation party.
7 Fantasy Baseball Team Name Tips
Some of these go without saying, so I’ll say them, because nobody tells me what to do.
1. Don’t Let Someone Else Name Your Team
The fact you are reading this article tells me you won’t go all “default,” letting whatever the commissioner decides to be your fantasy team name all baseball season. In other words, don’t let this be your team’s name in 2019:
- Team 11
- Phil’s Team (if your name is Phil)
- Phil’s Team (if your name isn’t Phil)
- Team Moron (This is usually a result of either your commissioner naming your team, or you lost a side-bet along the way.)
- Ed Sheeran Fanclub (if your wife names your team)
2. Don’t Be Boring
Along with the previous tip, let’s put some actual effort into coming up with a decent team name. Don’t just punt and be something lame, like Dave’s Dodgers or Dave’s Reds or The Daves.
3. Make a Connection with MLB History
Are you a fan of a specific Major League Baseball team? Dig up an old classic team nickname or nickname for a group of players/fans from your favorite team. For instance, I can think of several team names dealing with MLB team history:
- Royal Rooters
- Y. Highlanders
- Murderer’s Row
- Knothole Gang
- Bleacher Creatures
- Homestead Grays
- Whiz Kids
- Trolleydodgers
- Milwaukee Braves
- Washington Senators
- Cincinnati Redlegs
4. Don’t Use a Confusing Acronym
Got a long team name that won’t fit in the form? Thinking about just using the initials as an inside joke for everyone? Nobody cares that much to remember what your team name means, so don’t overthink it by naming it something like RXBT39G&T. (Dd you really put an ampersand in your team name? Shame on you.)
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5. Feel Free To Mock Your Fellow Participants
Do you have the ability in your league service to change your team name frequently? Or do you have to go through your commissioner to change it? If it’s the former, consider taking shots at your fellow participants in your league name – every single week. Name your team something that pokes fun of your weekly opponent! Sure, your leaguemates will hate you, and likely complain until the commissioner removes your team-naming abilities, but that just means you successfully got in their heads!
6. Don’t Be Crass… Unless Everyone Else is
Yep, there are plenty of “balls” jokes to be made in team names, this is not up for debate. But are they necessary in your league with your friend’s grandpa and your minister?
However, if you are in a league with a bunch of knuckleheads who make double entendres and innuendos in nearly every sentence of their speech, then sure, crass it up! But just remember this is probably a better time to be a trend follower than a trendsetter.
7. Base Your Team Name on Your Favorite Baseball Player Ever
Is Derek Jeter your favorite player ever? Do you still tap your chest twice and throw a kiss to the sky like Sammy Sosa every time you make out with a girl? Are most of your passwords based around B1gPapi34$ox? Pay the ultimate tribute by naming your fantasy team after him, too!
And now…
99 Fantasy Baseball Team Names Based on MLB Players
When all else fails, use a fantasy team name that’s a play off a current or recent MLB player’s name. Mix in a pop culture reference, change the spelling, make something rhyme, do a play on words or pun it up!
- The Seven-Year Yelich
- With a Rebel Yelich
- Joc Itch
- The Mookie Monster
- Can’t Cutch This
- Marte in the U.S.A.
- Better Call Paul
- Desmonds Are Forever
- Shohei the Money
- Here Comes the Judge!
- Goldschmidtmember
- Super Benintendi
- Rhys Pieces
- Cozart of War
- The Gurriel With the Dragon Tattoo
- There Goes Masahiro
- A To the Rizzo
- Team DumbleOdor
- Flock of Seagers
- Shark-Arenado
- Battle of Whits
- Gurriels Gone Wild
- Carry On My Heyward Son
- Lindor Plumbing
- Hanging With the Pham
- Eggs Oddorizzi
- Sippin’ On Gin Andrus
- Kershawshank Redemption
- The Pen is Mightier Than the Schwarber
- deGrom Nom Nom
- Springer In My Step
- Carrasco Sauce
- The Sirius Blackmons
- Upton Funk
- The Altuve Fairy
- Grand Theft Votto
- Upton Girl
- Here’s My Number, Cameron Maybin
- Buxton Loose
- The Trevor Ending Story
- Bryce Krispies
- New Joc City
- Cano Business Like Sano Business
- Bartolo’s Cologne
- Macho Machado Man
- Everyday I’m Russellin’
- Stanton Island
- Seager Beavers
- Scherzer Skins
- D’Arnaud Crying In Baseball!
- Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dansby
- Funky Cold Molina
- Judge Dredd
- Goldschmidt Finger
- No Soup For Yu!
- We Can Be Masahiros
- Beam Me Up Piscotty
- Machado About Nothing
- Sano Means No
- Candy Crush Davis
- 50 Shades of Sonny Gray
- Confortobly Numb
- Acuna Moncada
- Acuna Machado
- Bryce Bryce Baby
- MadBum Men
- The Gyorko Store
- Domo Arigato, Nolan Arenado
- The Human Cespedes
- Wacha This Way
- The Ellsbury Doughboy
- Lindor Truffles
- Twist and Trout
- Stuck In the Middle With Yu
- deGromegorgen
- Votto Ticket
- The Price is Wong
- Blackmon Turner Overdrive
- Syndergaarden Cop
- For Whom the Bellinger Tolls
- Big League Choo
- Plouffe, There It Is!
- Goldschmidt Happens
- Gregorius B.I.G.
- The Realmuto Housewives
- Just Sano
- Mookie of the Year
- Judge, Drury and Executioner
- A Vogelsong of Bryce and Fiers
- Betances With Wolves
- Trout, Trout, Let It All Out
- Gentlemen Profar Blondes
- The Three Moustakas
- A Puig of Their Own
- Springer of Pain
- Wainwrights Don’t Make a Wong
- Honey Nut Chirinos
- Bregman On Campus
- The Good, The Vlad and the Ugly
UPDATE: We have a clubhouse leader, from Matt C in the comments:
No doubt, there are hundreds of other great fantasy baseball team names out there you might already know. Share some of your favorites in the comments below!
(Top photo: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports)
